I am my own worst enemy at times! Everything in training has gone so well and I've coped with putting a big block of training in then to let things get to me in the weeks leading into the race.
All my life of running and racing I have suffered very badly with nerves and putting pressure on myself. To a large part I have managed to almost get over this but every so often it rears its ugly head. In the few weeks leading into London I got myself worked up with a time I wanted to aim for. It was in my capabilities but at the very top end and could only happen on a good day when everything went right and I had the race of my life! Its good to have these aims but I think I spent too much of my days playing it over in my head.
As a result I was slightly less fresh in the final week of easy training. Race day was hot and I kind of thought to myself its unlikely to be a day for an amazing time but felt I could deal with this. I never really felt as good during the race this time as I did last year. Last year up until the point my foot crippled me at 17 miles (ended up with a stress fracture) I actually felt so good and comfortable. This time it felt like a slog. By 18 I was feeling light headed and started being sick. I tried to keep going but by the time I got to 20 I just couldn't.
Is it London that I'm jinxed with? Is it the pressure I put on myself? Either way I'm extremely disappointed in myself. I know I'm better than this.
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